


Gossip, Chinese whispers and misunderstandings

by womanroaring



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Chrismasu, M/M, POV Outsider, Welcome to the Madness (Yuri!!! on Ice), as canon-compliant as I could make them, drunk!Minako
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:27:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 8,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8974174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanroaring/pseuds/womanroaring
Summary: Series of short stories relating to how certain (often perfectly innocent) scenes in Yuri On Ice would have looked from the outside. And just the gossip and stuff that would have surrounded them.Most chapters are probably only a "T" at most - chapter 5 is the reason I've rated this "M" and even then it's just for slight raciness, so skip that one if you're trying to avoid suggestions of sexy times.Since starting this I've written several other "extra-canonical" fics so please check out my other works if you like cute YOI stuff :)





	1. The men's bathrooms

Mila was chatting to the Italian finalists in the hallway outside what everyone was calling “the Russian base” -- just a room they’d co-opted, given how many finalists they had in the competition -- when she saw Yuri step out of the door. He looked like he needed some air. She was going to go over to him, but saw his eyes fix on something.

The pretty Japanese finalist -- who was also, through a strange coincidence, called Yuri -- had just gone into the men’s bathroom, nearby.

Yuri was watching him. Mila wasn’t surprised -- Yuri had been glued to his free skate and had then asked Victor all about him. Victor hadn’t known much, as it was the first time that the Japanese skater had competed against him, and he had kept to himself throughout the qualifying cups and the final.

Mila watched Yuri’s eyes narrow. And then Mila watched him head determinedly into the bathroom.

 _Oh god_ , she thought, half amused and half horrified by what it looked like. Yuratchka was only 14 years old. He couldn’t possibly be thinking of doing what it looked like he was doing.

Could he?

She squashed the thought. Yurochka did nothing but skate. She would have put money on it that he was completely ignorant of the type of activities that she was thinking of, which happened sometimes when one man followed another into a bathroom.

Even so, she found herself worrying when neither Yuri momentarily reappeared. She excused herself and inched towards the bathroom door, wondering what to do.

She was so relieved when she heard Yuri shouting “Moron!” that she could have fallen to her knees; and it got better. Seconds later, Yuri stormed out, looking murderous.

 _Thank god_ , she thought. _Japanese Yuri must have turned him down_.


	2. Unusually relaxed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the middle of episode 7… from Celestino's POV

 

“Yuri’s unusually relaxed today, I wonder why?” Celestino had said it innocently to Phichit, watching Yuri’s free skate, but it was that Swiss coach who answered him.

“Mmm, well, I don’t think you were ever willing to go to the lengths Victor clearly is, to _relax_ his pet skater,” the man said behind him. “I heard Yuri was working himself up, so Victor dragged him off somewhere where they could be _alone_. He might as well have that gorgeous boy on a leash.”

One of the female skaters had overheard. She came over, laughing, and saying, “You’re talking about Victor? I wonder who else will be wanting him to coach them, now that the level of _service_ his student is getting is becoming apparent.”

Phichit’s poor face was burning red. Celestino was so angry with both of them, he barely knew what he said next. “Yuri always had more potential than I was ever able to get out of him. I’m glad Victor has worked out how to get through to him. Come on, Phichit,” he said, and his charge looked as though he’d been thrown a lifeline as they walked away.

Of course, the commentators mentioning that Victor had been living with Yuri hadn’t helped; and then that kiss that Victor and Yuri shared on the ice at the end of the routine had caused the gossip circuit to explode.

Celestino overheard Christophe Giacometti afterwards teasing that sleazy coach of his about not kissing him at the end of _his_ routines and the coach had replied by offering to kiss him then and there. Chris had slapped him away and called him a dirty old man.

Next thing he knew, people were gossiping about the fact that Victor hadn’t spent that night in his room at the hotel. Several people were able to report this, because they’d apparently stationed themselves near his door, hoping to seduce, or at least talk to, Victor themselves.

That Eros routine was being thrown up as more proof, especially since Yuri was still performing it in one of Victor’s iconic costumes. Yuri certainly was looking like he might as well have “Property of Victor Nikiforov” stamped on a collar.

Celestino didn’t know what to think. Yuri had always been every bit as wholesome as Phichit, apart from the odd time when he drank too much, and yet now it certainly seemed like his new coach _had_ done _something,_ to expose a whole new side of Yuri.

But the thing was, despite his reputation as the hottest bachelor in skating, Celestino had never once seen the Russian champion interested in anyone. He had kept everyone at a polite distance. The idea of him sucking Yuri off behind a dumpster in the basement (a rumour he actually heard repeated) before his performance sat as badly with Celestino as the idea of this being all Yuri had needed, to improve.

Then he saw it, when he went to check out from the hotel, before he and Phichit went back to Bangkok. Victor was murmuring something into Yuri’s ear as they stood waiting for the lifts.

Yuri blushed, but said something in response with an arched brow, and Victor laughed.

He had never seen either of them look so happy.

 _They’re in love_ , Celestino thought. _Huh. Well, that’s definitely something I couldn’t help Yuri with._


	3. Never had a girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuko feels bad about the first impression the triplets made with Yuri.

Yuuko and Takeshi were getting ready for bed, chatting about their day; mostly about how Yuri was back and what it might mean for the rink.

“I felt so bad for Yuri when the girls appeared,” Yuuko said, starting to brush her teeth. “They were so over-familiar and you know how sensitive he is. You know they actually asked him if it was true that he’d never had a girlfriend?”

“Honey, let’s face it. Yuri was always more of a Victorsexual anyway.”

Yuuko snort-laughed and inhaled toothpaste, the joke took her by surprise so much. Though it was right.

But when the man himself turned up, tall and beautiful and charming and Russian, and with eyes that followed Yuri everywhere, she decided Yuri was probably going to have the last laugh.


	4. What aren’t you telling me, Yakov?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yakov doesn't know what the hell is going on with Yuri after he comes back from Japan, and he's not sure he wants to.
> 
> His ex-wife does not find this satisfactory.

“First, I want to know. The Japanese piggy. Where is _he_ assigned?”

Yakov had been wondering about the change in Yuri, ever since he got back from Japan. The boy had always been angry, and defiant; but this was different. Mila had noticed it; she had tried to talk to Yakov about it several times. Yakov had always shut her down.

Now he was regretting it.

The fact was, Yuri had been different since the previous year’s Grand Prix final; and he came back from his unscheduled trip even more changed. He had a new focus. He never complained any more about practice. He even put up with the nightmare that was Yakov’s ex-wife.

Yakov would have put it down to Yuri’s thirst to achieve his goal to perform his best at his senior debut, but the facts were that Yuri was now different about his body, as well. Before he went to Japan, he had the natural modesty of a young teenager. When he came back, he -- well. Yakov was reminded of the way his feelings about his own body had changed, after enough other people had seen it.

Yakov had put it down to the Japanese and their weird communal bathing habits. Yuri had been staying in a hot springs resort, after all.

With Victor.

And that Japanese skater.

Yakov tried very hard not to think about that Japanese skater. He had seen the boy -- something about him made Yakov think about him as a boy, despite the fact that he was in his mid-20s -- come last at the previous Grand Prix final. He had somehow still thrilled the audience with his performance, even though he had failed to land half his jumps.

Yet the jumps he did land were often quite difficult in some way or other. And his step sequences and spins rivaled those of Victor himself. Yakov couldn’t work him out.

The boy had then proceeded to drown his sorrows at the banquet and somehow lure half the world’s most promising skaters into a wild bacchanal, with Vitya and Yurachka -- two of the most unapproachable figures in skating -- fairly jumping at the chance to participate.

Yakov knew that sometimes his own Yuri was called a fairy, because of his other-worldly allure; but after that night, he had wondered that the Japanese Yuri hadn’t gotten a similar nickname. He was like some sort of Pied Piper. He had certainly lured away Russia’s own hero with a combination of that drunken night’s dancing and that viral video clip. Yakov found it hard to believe that the Japanese skater hadn’t been performing for anyone other than the rink staff on the night he was allegedly recorded without his knowledge. But then Yakov didn’t really understand how these things worked. YouTube didn’t make much sense to him.

All he knew was that both Vitya and Yurachka had treated the video as though it was much more important than Yakov gave it credit for.

And then Vitya had dropped everything, and left.

Yakov had tried to hide it from Yuri -- how do you explain infatuation to an angry fifteen-year-old boy -- but again, Yakov had underestimated the power of the internet. Yuri had worked out everything, even Victor’s location, through his cyberstalking (that’s what they called it, as far as he could work out) and even booked himself on a flight halfway across the globe, despite being a minor.

Honestly, he should confiscate the boy’s damned phone.

The second Yakov had realized Yuri was in Japan, he had called Victor.

He had called him all sorts of things, actually. Selfish, and a disappointment. “You have always been the one the boy looks up to, and now look at the example you have set for him. While he is in Japan, I consider him in your care. Yuratchka is fifteen years old. He is still a _child_.”

“A child so well supervised that he was able to fly halfway across the world to chase me before you even noticed he was gone? Don’t worry, Yakov. I’m sure even I can manage to take care of him that thoroughly.”

Vitya’s tone was light, but Yakov felt the sting in the words. He could picture Victor’s face as he said them, his head tilted, his smile not reaching his eyes.

He never had been sure if Victor understood how much his words could hurt.

True to his word, however, Yuri was beautifully looked after under Victor’s charge. The resort was family run, and Victor had not only given Yuri an amazing choreography for his short program (and one of his own iconic costumes to perform it in), but he had sneakily also managed to cram in a short cultural education as well. Yuri hadn’t stopped telling anyone who would listen all about the ninja house Victor had made him train in, and purification rituals in waterfalls, and Japanese pop stars who looked like him, and ramen stalls lining the streets in the entertainment precinct. He even appeared to still be in contact with the Japanese rink, which annoyed Yakov to no end.

But it wasn’t until Yuri had walked out of the shower at Lilia’s stark naked to demand to know the Japanese skater’s assignments before asking about his own, that Yakov had to accept the truth looking him in the face.

It hadn’t just been Vitya that the Japanese skater had captured last year.

His ex-wife had turned on him, after this, the second she was sure Yuri wouldn’t overhear them.

“What aren’t you telling me, Yakov?”

“What do you mean -”

“Don’t try to be cute, old man. What happened between Yuri and Victor? And the Japanese skater? Why is Yuri so fixated on them?”

Yakov was going to tell Lilia that he objected to her tone, and who did she think she was, but he found himself feeling very old and tired. So he just said, feelingly, “When you work it out, please explain it to me, as well.”

And then he went to bed, thankful for every year that separated him from whatever it was that Yuri was going through.


	5. Calling from Fukuoka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris’s mysterious boyfriend is subjected to one end of a phone call from Japan, on the night that Victor “drinks until dawn” in Fukuoka, which is famous for its red light district. 
> 
> I’m sure he was drinking alone. 
> 
> Totally, absolutely sure.
> 
> Also, this chapter is why I decided I had better change this work from a "T" to an "M". Just to be safe.

It was 5.30pm, Swiss time, and he had just gotten home. Even though he couldn’t actually see his boyfriend anywhere, Chris appeared to have beaten him home -- the kitchen showed every sign of it, anyway, as well as the trail of clothing discarded on the way to their bedroom. He was pleased, as he’d had a frustrating day dealing with unreasonable sponsors and some quality time with Chris’s body was exactly what he needed right now.

But when he got to their bedroom, he realised Chris was on the phone. He appeared to be laughing at someone.

“Just go into the damned bar, Victor,” he was saying. “I can’t believe you called me to talk you out of something that sounds so awesome. _Darling_ ,” Chris said, seeing him in the doorway, “Victor has called me, _drunk_ , from a _red light district_ in Japan outside a _gay hook-up bar._ Men are literally _begging_ him to go in but the love-sick boy is -- what was that, Victor? Yes! Pick that one, _that one_!” Chris put his hand over the receiver and whispered, “Victor says a Japanese boy with glasses exactly like Yuri’s just winked at him -- what? No, Victor, I’m sure that one wouldn’t prefer to eat pork cutlets than you, now just _get in there_ and you’d better tell me all about it tomorrow. Good _bye_.”

Chris tossed the phone aside dramatically. “Poor Victor. I didn’t understand half of what he said, he’s so drunk, but it appears that Yuri still won’t sleep with him and told him today that he thinks about pork cutlets to get in the mood to perform the sexy routine Victor’s making him do. Hmm. Do we have any weinerschnitzel in the house?”

His boyfriend reeled from the sudden change of topic.

“Weinerschnitzel? You -- you want schnitzel?”

“No, I want you to eat schnitzel. Off me. Let’s see how sexy it really is.”

“…I’ll go check the freezer.”


	6. Did I really just see that on the television?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri's dad just wants to confirm with his mum that what he thinks he just saw on the television actually happened.
> 
> With a bonus reference to the first episode, when Yuri's dad says he looks just like his mum.

Toshiya clearly wanted to say something. But he wasn’t. He must be waiting until they were alone. Which meant it was probably about the kiss they’d just seen Vicchan plant on their son in front of dozens of news cameras. Hiroko snorted at the memory of Toshiya’s shocked face afterwards. He could be so oblivious sometimes! After all, he hadn’t even recognized Victor when he arrived -- “I thought he looked familiar!” he had said, “But doesn’t that Victor fellow have long hair?”

Finally, their last guest from the viewing party left. Hiroko was just clearing up the last of the glasses when Toshiya managed to spit it out. “So -- our son’s new coach just kissed him at an internationally broadcast sporting event.”

Hiroko burst out laughing, which made her husband huff.

“Well, I’m glad you find that funny. I’ve never seen Yuri kiss anyone.”

“Oh, darling. Who knows who he was kissing all those years he was abroad. I hope it was plenty of people.”

“Yes, but that wasn’t on international television! Surely that means it’s serious!”

“Well, I certainly hope it is! Our son has been in love with Victor Nikiforov since he first saw him skate as a teenager. If this isn’t serious then Yuri will be devastated.”

Toshiya processed this for a moment. “Well,” he said gruffly. “The man certainly does seem to look at Yuri like -- like -”

“Like he wants to eat him all up?

Toshiya nodded and, looking happier, swooped in and hugged his wife. “And why shouldn’t he,” he said, planting kisses across her face, which was now laughing again. “He’s looks just like his beautiful mother.”

 


	7. Are you all blind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Georgi thought it was pretty damned obvious why Victor left.

Mila and Georgi were supposed to be training on the rink but since Yakov was screaming at the journalists outside, they took the time for a break.

Mila tilted her head at Georgi. There was something that had been bugging her. “I don’t think Yakov is coping well with Viktor abandoning us all. You don’t seem very surprised, though.”

Georgi gave her a withering look. “Victor danced an “I am so lonely and nobody loves me” routine across the globe looking sadder every time he performed it and yet all of you are wondering why he dropped everything to fly to Japan the second that pole dancing pretty boy of his responded to it? Are you all _blind_?”

Mila laughed and went to make a joke about starting pole dancing lessons herself if it was all she was going to need to get a catch like Victor, when an angry voice behind them started screaming, _“get back to work you slackers!”_


	8. The Chugoku, Shikoku and Kyushu Championship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minami. I had to do a chapter with him. And also his mother, who is a very respectable doctor, apparently, and would therefore probably be wondering (I decided) if Yuri and Victor's antics are par for the course in international competitive skating, and if her innocent little boy needs protecting.

Minami could hear his coach telling him to focus, but he just couldn’t. Yuri was here, on the same ice as him again, and though he knew he should be using the public practice to run through his jumps and so on -- the way Yuri moved was amazing, like … Minami didn’t know what it was like.

The legendary Victor Nikiforov was here too, since he was coaching Yuri now, but he had never had the same appeal to Minami that Yuri had. Yuri was the one he and his rinkmates looked up to. They had grown up watching him. Minami had been so excited to finally be competing against him at the last Championships, but Yuri had … fallen down a lot. He denied being injured but the rumours wouldn’t go away, given how bad his performance had been. Minami had found himself in a strange position, finding the only rival he cared about -- Japan’s _ace skater_ \-- didn’t have his head in the game.

While Minami was proud at how well he had performed last year, he also couldn’t help feeling that he hadn’t so much _won,_ as Yuri had _lost_.

Great artists could be temperamental after all.

But Yuri certainly seemed to have his head on straight this competition. Even after the sexy way Nikiforov had hugged him before he started.

Minami wasn’t sure he would have been able to skate after something like that.

And of course, in the adrenalin rush after his own performance, Minami had lost his head when Yuri had made that self-disparaging remark.

The day sure had been an emotional rollercoaster.

That night, he got a mixture of two types of texts: people asking what exactly he had said to Japan’s top figure skater; and people demanding that he confirm whether or not Yuri and Nikiforov were together.

He knew why they were all asking him. He _was_ Yuri’s biggest fan, after all. He followed any and all social media accounts connected with Yuri, but none of them had hinted at anything … other than that picture of Nikiforov combing Yuri’s hair, that the Hasetsu Ice Castle rink had briefly posted and then taken down*.

Minami had felt like he was intruding, just _looking_ at the shot.

If he’d thought the previous day had been an emotional rollercoaster, it was nothing to the free skate. Yuri had blanked him, and he had been devastated -- but then Yuri had wished him good luck _and_ had thumped him on the back after his performance for doing so well.

Then -- the thing with the lip balm had happened.

And more hugging between Yuri and Nikiforov.

Minami definitely didn’t think he would have been able to skate after that.

He didn’t care that he’d come second in the competition. He was just happy to be sharing a podium with his idol again. He raved about Yuri’s free skate all the way home, until he started to worry that his mother was getting bored.

“Katsuki seems very … highly strung,” His mother finally commented. Minami blushed.

“He’s an _artist,_ ” he said. “Didn’t you _see_ how he skates?”

“And that Russian fellow…”

Minami blushed harder, but his mother didn’t finish the sentence.

\-----

His mother called his coach that night. “Kanato,” she said firmly, “I need you to be completely honest with me. Skater Katsuki and the Russian coach. The way they acted today. Is that all considered normal once you get to a certain level?”

Kanato spluttered but she went on, her voice rising. “Because we have encouraged and supported Minami all these years in his skating, but if that’s what … maybe we should have tried to get him to go into medicine like his brother -”

Kanato reassured Minami’s mother as best she could, reminding her that she’d been to many competitions with her son and never been worried in the past. She got off the phone and made herself a soothing cup of tea, thinking that if her own coach had been anything like Victor Nikiforov, she wouldn’t have retired from competitive skating as early as she had.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Kubo explained in an interview somewhere that the triplets sneakily took that shot and then put this photo up on their mother’s account, in case people didn’t know where it was supposed to be from :)


	9. Around his little finger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari asks Minako what exactly happened when she sent Victor to her bar, late that night.

“So, Minako,” Mari said, too casually, wiping over the tables before she cleared the bar for the night. Minako was their last customer, although they hardly thought of her as that. “Victor Nikiforov’s been here for a few days now.”

Minako wondered at her tone. “Mmm?”

“He went to see you last night. I told him where your bar was.”

Minako put her drink down and gave Mari her full, if tipsy, attention. “Yes. He was looking for Yuri.”

“You’ve always said how sexy you thought he was -”

“Oh, for god’s sake, Mari,” she said. “Do you _really_ think I’d make a play for a man half my age who is _clearly_ here to fuck your brother?”

Mari dropped the tray she was holding. Two beer glasses fell dramatically off it but didn’t break. She barely noticed. “ _What?”_ She screeched, but Minako was too busy laughing her head off at her to reply properly.

“Oh -- hoho -- oh,” she finally said, getting the last of her giggle fit out of her system, while Mari hastily lit herself a cigarette, “if it makes you feel any better, I think your brother’s going to make him work for it. I was genuinely concerned until I spoke to him at my bar the other night. I worried that he was going to seduce our Yuri and break his heart. But I’m fairly certain your brother actually has that man wrapped around his little finger. Somehow.”

Minako held up the last of her drink. “To Yuri, who has managed to get a _formidable_ and _very sexy_ skating legend to fall head over heels in love with him, and hasn’t even realised it yet.”

Mari cheered Minako’s drink with her cigarette. “Who knew he had it in him?” she said, and both the women fell about laughing again.


	10. Odd one out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isabella tries to talk to JJ's mother about JJ being excluded from the dinner in Barcelona but the conversation just degenerates into gossip. 
> 
> AKA the chapter where I start the rumour that JJ's mum is a scandal-monger ... because I needed to give her some characteristic other than bad hair.

“What, you’re all leaving? It was just a joke!” JJ had yelled after the retreating backs of his rival finalists, but to no avail; they continued to murmur about how late it was.

In the end, JJ and Isabella had followed them back to the hotel anyway, managing to engage Phichit and Chris, at least, in some smalltalk before they all disappeared to their rooms.

Isabella marveled at JJ’s resilience. She would have been hurt if she’d been excluded from a dinner like that, but JJ continued to chatter happily to her all the way back up to their room. His parents had the adjoining room; he rapped on their door first, to say goodnight, but ended up being pulled into their room immediately by his dad, Alain, who wanted to show him a news story he had been reading on his tablet, about their favourite NHL team.

Isabella followed him in, smiling patiently at JJ’s mother, who returned the look with an eye roll, and asked if they’d had a nice dinner out.

“Oh -- thank you Nathalie, we did. But then we bumped into all the other finalists. I actually wanted to ask you about it,” Isabella added, lowering her voice and glancing over at her fiancé, who was still talking ice hockey with his dad. “All five of them were eating together, with Victor Nikiforov and a couple of ladies -- I think they’re here for Yuri Katsuki. Maybe his mother and sister? Anyway, that’s not the point, my point is -- does it seem -- I mean, JJ was the only one not included. He’s not going to be upset by that, is he?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry honey. Victor Nikiforov’s a popular guy, he’s friends with all the finalists, from what I can tell tell, apart from JJ and Otabek. And Otabek must have come with Yuri Plisetsky after saving him from those rabid fans of his this afternoon -- did you see that on social media today?”

“Haha, yes, I did. Those girls! What are they called again? Yuri’s kittens?”

Nathalie laughed at that. “No, his angels. Nothing angelic about them! Your name’s better, honey. They sure have claws. Anyway, I’m sure JJ was happier having a nice quiet dinner with you than whatever crazy high-jinx Nikiforov and Katsuki had planned. Don't forget last year's Grand Prix Final banquet. And did you hear about what happened the first night they were in China?"

“Yes, you told me,” Isabella said. “I still don’t know how you learn all these things, Nathalie!”

“I have my sources,” Nathalie said, tapping her nose. Isabella laughed good-naturedly.

“Well, no, it didn’t look like anything like that. And actually, I can give you a piece of news you won’t have heard yet -- we arrived just as Nikiforov and Katsuki were announcing their plans to get married after the final.”

Isabella had the satisfaction of seeing Nathalie’s jaw drop for a change.


	11. Those numbers would not have helped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari and Minako lament at the GPF that getting the skaters' room numbers wouldn't have done them a bit of good...
> 
> This one’s dedicated to my friend @lisaamd on tumblr, who a) keeps recommending my stories to people (since she knows I don’t tumble. Is that the right word? Not sure it is…) and b) provided the inspiration for this one in the first place :)

They all headed back to the hotel together after dinner, that first night in Barcelona. Mari waited until she and Minako were back in their room with the door firmly shut, before getting something off her chest.

“Do you remember that night, just after Yuri came home, when you said you wished he’d qualified for the Worlds so that he could get you the skaters’ room numbers?”

Minako laughed. “He was so indignant! It’s not like I was serious.”

“Yeah, well, I was thinking about that tonight at dinner, looking around the table, you know? I mean, it was awesome to be there with everyone but it’s not like their room numbers would have done you any good.”

Minako started laughing again as Mari counted off on her fingers. “We had our choice of: my brother; my brother’s fiancé; a 15-year-old -”

“Hey, you think Yurio is gorgeous -”

“Yes, but he’s _15_. So, a 15-year-old; an 18-year-old clearly hot for the 15-year-old; the hot Swiss one whose hot boyfriend was too jetlagged to come to dinner; and Phichit.”

“What’s wrong with Phichit?”

“Just don’t.”

Minako laughed some more. “Well, none of that’s really a revelation. Unlike your brother’s _pole-dancing skills_.”

“So  _you_ didn’t teach him those moves?”

The ladies laughed so hard at that, someone in the next room banged on the wall.

They just laughed harder.

 


	12. Mischievous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, wow. Did everyone hear about how Otabek DJs part time and that he has lots of “mischievous” friends… 
> 
> Here’s how I imagined that one of these would react to the viral news that the Hero of Kazakhstan kidnapped the Russian Fairy -- with lots of annoying texting, obviously.

  _Oi Beka_

_I woke up this morning to find out you kidnapped a fairy_

_That’s a very pretty fairy you’ve got there_

_Are you awake yet_

_OTABEK_

_Oooh, your fairy likes social media._

_And leopard print and cat ears. Meow._

_OTABEK FKN GET UP_

_ARE YOU AWAKE_

You know you’re five hours ahead of Barcelona, right?

_WHO IS THE PRETTY BLOND OTABEK_

We trained together back when I was in Russia.

He’s a friend.

_Friend_

_I’m your friend_

_You’ve never kidnapped me_

_You’ve never had me on the back of your bike_

Remind me the last time you were chased across a major city by dozens of women obsessed with you?

Seriously I can’t recall it.

_Ooooh burn_

_Are you gonna tap that or what_

He’s 15.

Don’t be horrible.

_Don’t think I didn’t check that._

_You got four months until he’s legal_

Stop.

_LOL or what_

Or I’m sending all three of your big sisters a screengrab of this conversation.

_OK SORRY_

_Geez you must really like this one_

What’s that clicking sound?

Was it me screengrabbing this conversation?

_OK OK SORRY I’M SORRY_

_Don't send it I'm sorry_

_Good luck today_

_Don't split your velour pants_

I'll do my best.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did everyone read that thing from the costume designer? Otabek's costumes are apparently mostly velour... mmm, so tactile and easy to stroke...


	13. Are they? Aren't they?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Guang Hong Ji has some questions.
> 
> He might have a vested interest.

Guang Hong hadn’t really thought twice about the rumour that Yuri and Victor were dating. But it was all anybody seemed to want to talk about at the Cup of China.

He didn’t understand why some people seemed surprised that Victor had chosen Yuri. Yuri was a top skater, just like Victor, even if he wasn’t as highly decorated -- but then, nobody was. Who did they _want_ Victor to date? Himself?

Yuri’s performances were beautiful, and he was handsome, and when he wasn’t stressing himself out, he could be funny, and fun. Guang Hong really just didn’t see the problem. But then, maybe he was missing something. It’s not like he had a lot of experience with relationships to compare theirs to.

The rumour he was more interested, really, was the one that Victor was actually just on a break from skating, rather than retired.

The idea that two skaters competing on the same ice were dating was much more compelling for him.

Which is why he had felt slightly dismayed at Yuri’s reaction to his “boyfriend” stripping and wrapping himself around him like an octopus, on their first night in Beijing.

Yuri had yelled for help.

It hadn’t looked like they were dating after all.

The idea made Guang Hong’s stomach drop just a little. He hadn’t realized quite how much he had wanted to see how they managed things, once Victor made his comeback.

But then… Victor and Yuri had straight-up just _cuddled_ while they were all watching Chris perform. Guang Hong had been standing right next to them and it had _not_ been a normal coach thing at all.

He was starting to see why everyone was confused.

He found himself thinking about it so much, he decided to just go ahead and ask Phichit about them. If anyone would know, Phichit would.

“Um, Phichit…” he had tentatively begun, next time they alone together. “So … Victor and Yuri…"

Phichit had burst out laughing before he’d even gotten that half a sentence out of his mouth. "Who knows?!" He had said, his eyes sparkling. "I don't think even they do. No wonder everyone keeps asking me that."

Guang Hong decided not to get ahead of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... people know that on the official website, it says Guang Hong has a crush on Phichit, right? 
> 
> (I still wrote this so that it could be about Guang Hong with another skater too, if people prefer to ship him with Leo...I'm not fussed...I have no strong feelings about who gets to snuggle my little Chinese boy as long as he's happy...)


	14. You know it won't last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember those Russian BITCHES in episode 6 telling Victor to break up with Yuri? They were literally onscreen for about four seconds but I HATE them.
> 
> I have christened them Anna and Veronika because those came up in google lists of “common Russian names” and they’re clearly common. 
> 
> Also, I made them ice dancers ... because I had to do something and I sort of HC that Yuri P wouldn't be as intimidated by them that way (I figured he's not as interested - and probably a bit dismissive? - unless you're a figure skater).

At the Cup of China, everyone was buzzing about Victor Nikiforov and his Japanese protege. Victor’s announcement that he wasn’t competing in the Grand Prix series this year had been second only to the news that he would be coaching Yuri Katsuki, in terms of shock value.

The rumour was that the pair were dating. It made a sort of sense; more sense, anyway, than the original reason that had been reported -- that Victor needed a break, and that Yuri had inspired him to coach him with that viral video of his.

And after all, the top skaters had all seen the way they’d danced together at the infamous “stripping” banquet, the year before.

And it was definitely true that Victor had moved in with Katsuki, anyway.

Social media posts of Victor with his arm around Yuri, or combing Yuri’s hair, or just of him looking happy in Japan, all seemed to confirm their status as a couple; and then that image the Thai skater Phichit Chulanont posted of their naked escapades the night before the men’s short program cemented the deal for most people.

Even so, Victor had dominated not only the men’s singles figure skating but the entire skating scene for so long. The idea that he would be right there, but not skating, because he was coaching his boyfriend instead? It was just so outlandish that more than one skater had felt the need to speak to the man himself over what the hell he was doing.

Russian ice dancers Anna and Veronika were no different.

“Hi, Victor!”

“So you’re really a coach, then?”

“This is just a fling, right? Just split up with him already!”

“You know it won’t last. Don’t you feel sorry for him?"

“You need to come back to Russia!”

Victor had just smiled.

Then after the free skate, he’d kissed Yuri on the ice in front of everyone.

And they’d gone back to Japan.

But what did it _mean_?

Somehow or other, the ladies hadn’t had another chance to talk to Victor in China, so when they got back to St Petersburg, they tried the next best source: Yuri Plisetsky. Yuri was not only known to be Victor’s little friend, but he had also famously gone all the way to Japan to try to drag Victor back to Russia. Surely he’d be on _their_ side.

“Yuri!”

“Yuratchka!”

Yuri had sized them up with a look, before apparently deciding not to storm away from them (he was known to do that).

“ ’Sup?” He’d said warily instead, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

They pouted at him in what they hoped was a winning sort of way.

“Victor!” Anna said sulkily, sidling up to Yuri.

“He hasn’t come back to Russia!” Veronika added, snaking her arm around him.

He shrugged them both off, his face twisting. “Katsuki isn’t out of the running for the final yet. He got silver at China, same as I did in Canada -”

“But he isn’t _serious_ about this Japanese skater, is he?”

“ _You’ll_ know Yuri -- I mean, why is he _throwing_ his career _away_?”

“He was still in top form, even at 27!”

“Giving it all up like a love-struck fool?”

“It won’t be easy for him if he tries to come back!”

“He’ll look like such an idiot if this doesn’t pan out -”

Yuri finally exploded, at this last comment.

“Don’t you dare talk about Victor like that, ведьма!” He yelled at Veronika. “Victor is a _genius_ and a Russian _hero_ and you’ll never even dream of touching his achievements!”

“Well, neither will the Japanese Yuri,” Anna said flatly.

“So what the hell is Victor doing wasting his time with him?” Veronika added.

“Yuri Katsuki skates more beautifully than either of you old hags!” Yuri yelled at them. “You’re clearly both blind as well asstupid! Go practice your spins, both of you, they _suck_!”

And with that, little Yuri Plisetsky stormed away from them both.

He never spoke to either of them again.


	15. What the fuck are you wearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This mostly exists because I was wondering a) why Anya would have gone to see Georgi perform in China and b) what the hell Yakov meant when he said he’d designed Georgi’s program to emphasise everything he was good at that Victor wasn’t (real mature Yakov… )
> 
> I'm not sure I answered the second bit but I kind of feel like I understand the first one a bit better...

Anya had gone to see the men’s singles against her better judgement. Obviously she was interested in seeing them; skating was her life, after all. But running into Georgi would have been so awkward and to have him happen to see her there would have been even worse.

Except everyone was talking about how his theme and his routines this season were all about her, and their break-up.

So, she went.

The facts were, she had never been as into their relationship as Georgi had been. Anyone could see it, in the pictures of them together that Georgi _still_ hadn’t taken down from his social media accounts. In the end, the imbalance had just gotten to her; it felt strange and creepy to be with someone who was way more into the whole thing than you were. But that had been part of the problem between them as well; Georgi was way too intense about all sorts of things. Including skating. And his coach encouraged this.

Anya had never understood why Georgi just did whatever Yakov Feltsman told him to. Look at the ridiculous costumes he’d put him in, for instance, and the way he _encouraged_ him to be so over the top. Anya wondered if Feltsman did it because his other successful students tended to be so… emotionally narrow. That teenage protégé of his -- what was his name, Plisetsky -- always seemed angry, while Mila Babicheva never seemed to do anything but laugh. And the lauded Victor Nikiforov always seemed so plastic to her.

She would be lying, however, if she said she wasn’t curious to see how Georgi would perform out of Victor’s shadow. How all of them would perform, really. Nikiforov had dominated men’s skating for so long, it was almost like everyone else had stopped bothering to aim for the top spot. Now that he was taking this season off, it should have been everyone else’s turn to shine.

Except what the fuck was Georgi wearing.

Seriously.

Georgi worked hard and he was a brilliant skater, and his performances had real honesty and authenticity to them, but… god they made her cringe sometimes. This one was just _awful_. He was too old for this emo shit, seriously, and wasn’t he _embarrassed_ to be showing the whole world that he wasn’t over his ex?

And then in the free skate he wore a fucking goddamned swan dress like he was fucking goddamned Bjork and he cried again and Anya was done. She was fucking done.

She was so annoyed she left the stadium entirely and missed the whole Katsuki/Nikiforov kiss, which was all anyone wanted to talk about, but she couldn’t find it in herself to even care.

She was just pleased everyone had stopped asking her about Georgi…


	16. Full of surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the announcer Hisashi Morooka just really, totally doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

Hisashi Morooka had been announcing skating for a long time. He’d seen all sorts of things -- horrifying injuries, emotional outbursts, that one time someone did a stripping gala performance on live international television.

But he’d never seen a skater that surprised him as much as Yuuri Katsuki.

Never _ever_.

Sure, Victor Nikiforov was the one famous for surprises, but Katsuki definitely took the cake for sheer unpredictability.

There were times when Morooka wouldn’t have called it a good thing. Like when the athlete underperformed at his first Grand Prix Final. Or even after the final, when Katsuki just stomped away from both him, and Nikiforov, after the Russian skater had asked him if he wanted to take a selfie with him. That had been rude in anyone’s language but _outrageous_ in Japanese.

Morooka would have thought Yuuri had something against Nikiforov, except that he personally knew that to be the opposite of the truth … and then to further disprove it, that video of Yuuri went viral a few months later, of him doing an absolutely perfect copy of one of Nikiforov’s latest routines.

Morooka had been beyond shocked. How Katsuki had even had the skill to do that routine so well and … well, why was he copying Victor’s routine anyway?

He tried to contact Yuuri for comment, for context, for anything; but it seemed Yuuri certainly hadn’t done it for the publicity. No media could get through to him and he hadn’t even said anything on social media -- although that, at least, wasn’t surprising. Yuuri just didn’t seem interested in sharing himself there.

Meanwhile, the account that had posted the video -- Katsuki’s home rink in Hasetsu, where he had returned after five long years -- had removed it, and put up a short statement, explaining that the skater had been performing privately to the staff at the rink and had not given permission for the video to be made public. He hadn’t even known he was being filmed.

And then next thing you knew, the choreographer and original performer of said routine, living legend Victor Nikiforov, had left Russia and would not be competing this season.

Because he had _moved in with Yuuri **and become his COACH.**_

It wasn’t just skating circles talking about this. It had made the lead page of every sports news section in Russia. It had made the international news, the tabloids.

Everyone was asking Morooka about it. Former colleagues he barely remembered emailed him for the inside scoop.

“I have no idea what is going on,” he just kept telling anyone. “I genuinely have absolutely no clue what on earth is going on.”

The whole thing was baffling. In the end, Morooka decided that the bit where Katsuki and Nikiforov were _living together_ threw him the most. The hottest bachelor in international skating -- _the_ Victor Nikiforov, Russian Olympic gold medallist, five-time grand slam winner, tall and handsome and glamorous and worth millions -- appeared to be sleeping with Yuuri Katsuki.

The shy Japanese guy from the tiny seaside town no one could point to on a map.

The moody one who sometimes got so worked up before performing he looked ready to shatter into pieces.

That one.

And **_THEN._**

**_AND THEN._ **

Then Yuuri had announced _his love for his coach on national television and was **dedicating his theme for the GPF to it.**_

And **_THEN._**

**_AND THEN._ **

Skater Katsuki started skating **_a sexy routine_.**

**_SEXILY._ **

**_IN FRONT OF JUDGES AND CROWDS AND ON TELEVISION AND EVERYTHING._ **

Morooka could barely commentate after Yuuri did that thing with his tongue, when he started his short program in Beijing.

Morooka’s cameraman finally just broke after that performance and flat-out asked him, “Seriously, man, what the hell is going on with Katsuki Yuuri?”

“I have no clue! _Not a single clue_!” he had involuntarily yelled at the man. “I don’t understand any of this! _Any of it!_ It’s like we’re missing something!”

Oh god and then there was on-ice kissing and on-ice crying and matching rings and broken world records and romantic pair skating and a dramatic announcement that Nikiforov was not retiring and the Grand Prix was over.

There had been so much drama that it was like nobody even cared that the Grand Prix had been won (or lost, depending on your viewpoint) by a mere 0.12 points. Any other year, this would have generated serious debate over whether or not Yuri and Yuuri should have both gone home with gold; about how far apart scores needed to be to tie for placing, whether rounding needed to be brought in by the ISU for fairness.

There should have been discussion about Jean-Jacques Leroy’s poor performance, and how he had only managed to score higher than Otabek Altin and thus take the bronze due to his late quad loop, and whether that was fair either, or if the scoring system needed tweaking there, too.

But, no.

Instead there was gossiping and more gossiping and even more gossiping.

Everyone wanted to know whether Nikiforov really would be able to stay on as Yuuri’s coach if they were going to compete against each other. Whether the pair were getting married. And whether they’d had rinkside sex after the GPF award ceremony (this was a rumour Morooka had heard more than once, spurred on by photographs people were circulating, of what looked like Skater Katsuki straddling his coach on the floor near the stands).

Morooka and his cameraman googled “best sake bars in Barcelona” after the medal ceremony and got very, very drunk.

Nobody blamed them in the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I was thinking of Evgeni Plushenko’s Sex Bomb with “the stripping gala performance” :)
> 
> UPDATE: OH MY GOD who knew that there WOULD BE A STRIPPING PERFORMANCE JFC YURI


	17. Bonus chapter: Welcome to the Madness, mischievous friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know I closed this fit but I'm not done because WELCOME TO THE MADNESS PEOPLE. 
> 
> IT IS ALL I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT FOR THE LAST TWO DAYS.
> 
> So, here, have a bonus chapter. Otabek's friend from chapter 12 just saw a preview for Yuri's exhibition skate... which in their universe I figured would be in an ad for the footage...

_HOLY SHIT OTABEK_

_WHAT THE FUCK_

_OMG_

_OI BEKA_

_You are NOT getting out this one_

_They just played a preview for the GPF exhibition skates_

_They aren’t broadcasting them until later_

_As if any of us can wait that long to know if we saw what I think we just saw_

What are you so worked up about

_I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU ON THE ICE WITH A HALF NAKED FAIRY THAT’S WHAT I’M BLOODY TALKING ABOUT BEKA_

_Was it a pair skate_

_A stripping pair skate_

_Do you strip too_

_What the hell was with the fingerbanging, Beka_

_What the hell happened to “He’s only 15 I couldn’t possibly”_

He IS only 15

It was a performance

You remember that that’s what we do, right?

_No, I don’t_

_Last time I checked you were not A STRIPPER_

_OMG_

_WAIT_

_That move your fairy did, where he wriggled during the backbend slide thing so that his shirt would ride up - can you do that?_

How did you even notice that

How many times did you watch that ad

_We watched it a number of times._

_Please, please tell me you helped him out of the rest of his clothes after that_

_That fucking backbend man_

I am serious this time.

One more word and I’m sending this whole convo to your sisters.

_WHO DO YOU THINK MADE ME WATCH THE CLIP 25 TIMES???_


	18. Bonus chapter: The madness after Welcome to the Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because no way Yuri's Angels didn't lose their shit over wttm.
> 
> And I've closed the chapter list on up again because this is really it this time. Really. 
> 
> ...[said in small voice] unless there is more to lose my shit over when we see the full exhibition skate. Then I might have to prove myself a liar again... and write another one...

 

The angels had known well before the music rang out, that their Yuri wasn’t doing his planned exhibition skate.

His costume was different. His attitude was different. His starting pose was different.

Yuri was different.

They sat at the edges of their seats, wondering what was about to happen. Some of them looked over at Yuri’s coach and dance instructor, to try and guess what was happening.

The two of them did not look pleased.

But then the opening phrase of a rock song had started up and their cranky kitten bared his soul.

And quite a bit of his body.

Literally, the only skin their Yuri had shown for the entirety of the season had been his fingers and his face -- and sometimes not even all of that, depending on his hairstyle.

When his fans saw him in his street clothes -- say, when they staked out hotels or airports -- he was usually wearing at least three layers of oversized clothing.

The closest any of them had come to even the _idea_ of an undressed Yuri was the chatter that appeared to be fact, that Yurochka had been staying at a Japanese onsen with Victor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki before the Hot Springs on Ice event. The thought of the three skaters soaking together in one of those _nude communal Japanese baths_ had certainly been a topic discussed at the odd fan meeting or two.

So, with the real thing half naked in front of them, what were they supposed to do, other than scream?

So they screamed. And screamed.

There was literally nearly a riot when Yuri threw his shades into the crowd, and then another as he left. Security had to be involved.

The angels were not permitted to enter the official skating hotel after that and they were kept away from Yuri at the airports in both Barcelona and St Petersburg. Several swore that they had seen Yuri give them an apologetic wave from behind a glaring Yakov before Lilia had chivvied him into a members-only lounge.

There was talk that the ISU and the Figure Skating Federation of Russia had not been at all pleased that a 15-year-old had performed such a provocative routine, especially given the presence of an older skater on the ice. Fan discussion on social media dubbing it a striptease for his new “boyfriend” -- a rumour that had started after the Hero of Kazakhstan kidnapped the Fairy of Russia on his motorbike -- did not help, especially after word got out that Otabek had provided him with the music in the first place, for the last-minute routine.

Sports journalists and retired skaters had boring discussions on current affairs programs over whether or not the federations should have to approve skates beforehand, but these segments seemed to actually just be excuses to show clips of the young skater’s shirt riding up as he dipped into the backbend and slow-motion shots of Yuri opening his mouth as he tilted his head back into the slide.

As far as the angels were concerned, it had been an amazing performance, where their ever-evolving monster displayed yet another facet of his personality (not to mention his nipples) to his audience.

They hadn’t minded it at all.


	19. Bonus chapter: My son skated too, you know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. The last few days have been... intense for us YOI fans. Madness indeed!!!! 
> 
> Yet another thank you to my friend @magiclamd on tumblr, who points out the funniest little details to me so often, including the fact that nobody had lamented that we didn't get to see JJ's exhibition skate...
> 
> So as if I could resist adding another bonus chapter...

The little Russian champion was “dead” on the ice after taking off half his clothes.

Otabek Altin -- quiet, polite, distant Otabek Altin -- was standing over his inert body after having done ... something to the boy’s hand with his mouth.

The entire stadium was screaming.

Nathalie and Alain Leroy turned to look at each other.

After they’d just stared at each other with large eyes for a bit, Alain said gruffly, “Skaters didn’t carry on like this in our day.”

“Tonya Harding,” Nathalie replied.

Alain tched. “That was after our time.”

“Not by much.”

If Yuri Plisetsky had been trying to distract the audience from the previous performance, he’d certainly achieved it. Dramatic surprises from Victor Nikiforov were, ironically, to be expected. Him appearing on the ice with that equally unpredictable fiancé of his and doing a pair skate that would have been forbidden for them to compete with was a delightful surprise but that sort of thing was slightly par for the course, from him.

Sure, both Alain and Nathalie would have lied if they’d said it hadn’t rankled just a little at how completely it overshadowed JJ’s exhibition skate, which had merely been his free skate from two years ago. They could be proud that he’d skated it beautifully, at least; free from the mistakes his competition skates had been plagued with, but it was obvious that “yay, he didn’t choke!” could not compete with “romantic and unexpected pair skate featuring a now-iconic routine and the world’s most famous skater as he’s announced his return to the sport.”

Their rankle at Nikiforov and Katsuki showing up their son, however, melted away after that shocking performance from Yuri Plisetsky. Featuring the mouth of quiet, polite, distant Otabek Altin.

As the shock faded, they started arguing about whether or not such antics should be allowed by underage skaters; what on earth Plisetsky’s coach had been thinking; what Otabek’s _mother_ was going to say. They wouldn’t have wanted JJ doing a routine like that _now_ , at 19, let alone 15. Truth be told, they doubted that their son could actually even put on a performance like the one the that the Russian fairy just had.

“JJ skated so well and showed that his competition nerves are behind him,” Alain moaned. “But nobody’s even going to remember that he skated at all, tonight!”

It was Isabella, sitting next to them, still a bit pale with shock, who said it. “Perhaps that’s for the best. Don’t you think?”

They both looked at her.

“You’re absolutely right, my dear,” Nathalie said in the end. “I think if JJ’s involvement in this gala is forgotten, then that’s just fine, since tonight was fucking crazy, if you don’t mind my language.”

Isabella just smiled.


End file.
